Or needs me to comfort her and encourage her. When I’m pursuing God, I find myself paying attention to my wife and seeing when she’s fragile, or emotional, or when she needs a hug. In all the different facets of intimacy, we’ve found that they start to get better, and more passionate, and more involved, when we seek after God and surrender more to Him. We know that if we’re lacking in any area in our personal relationship, it is most likely that we are lacking in our spiritual relationship with our Father in Heaven. It does take time to learn that over many, many years.Ī: We equate a lot of our intimacy very closely with our relationship with God. We’re still learning what intimacy is for us and how to make it a priority. I didn’t realize there was a whole other side to intimacy, involving communication and just those very transparent times with your spouse. J: Growing up, I always assumed intimacy meant sex. What does it mean to you to have an intimate relationship with your spouse? J: It was such a relaxing time, and such an adventurous time because neither of us had done anything like that before. We had never done anything like that before.Ī: We had lunch on top of Catalina Mountain. J: We each got a turn to fly, it was just us two and a pilot. It was about a 40-minute flight there and then back.Ī: We got to fly the plane for a little bit. This one time, it was a date for my birthday and he surprised me with a small, three-seater airplane flight to Catalina Island. Do you have any favorite dates you can remember or a favorite type of date? J: I think at the beginning of our marriage, finances were a huge obstacle because if we didn’t have the discretionary income to go to the movies or go out to dinner, we wouldn’t go. We have been okay with that, we actually go on dates with our son.Ī: Just going a few weeks and thinking, “Oh wait, we need to have a date.” We try and have them often, but they are never consistent. What obstacles have you faced in going on dates and how have you overcome them?Ī: We have lots of responsibilities, so we can’t just go on dates. So you get the physical connection as well. And if we’re busy during the day, or during the week and we don’t get a lot of hand-holding or hugging, or looking in each other’s eyes - date night is reserved for making those things a priority. Moments of dreaming, where we talk about what the future will look like. A lot of times, on dates, we may just go get some food and we’ll dream. Depending on how good the movie is, it makes us talk about bigger things in life. We’ll go to the movies, which doesn’t sound very interactive, because you’re quiet the whole time, but afterwards we’ll talk for hours about what the movie was about. It gives you dedicated time to focus on the other person - on each other. It also gives you time to communicate with one another, which is really important because it gives you the time to sit and think clearly about your relationship with one another, and how you view each other.Ī: Yes. And friendship is really important because it helps you endure through the hardest of the hard times. J: Dating is important because it cultivates friendship. What specific ways has continued dating in your marriage strengthened your marriage and why do you feel dating is important, even after marriage? I don’t remember what sparked the idea, but I remember thinking it would be awesome to show her all the little things that I do love about her. I had to intentionally be looking out for things that I liked. Have you ever sat down to think of 365 reasons why you love someone? That’s a lot of reasons. I spent a few months, actually, writing it. Aaron, what sparked that idea, and how did that nurture your marriage?Ī: It was pretty intense. Some were like, “I like your freckles,” other ones were like, “I love the way you laugh,” or “I love the way you try and tell jokes.” That gift was really special to me because it was a lot of little moments, and things that he pointed out that he loves about me. Each one was just a sentence, and they were silly and awesome and beautiful. It was a book that had 365 reasons why he loved me. J: Two years ago Aaron gave me a gift for our anniversary that was super thoughtful. Can you think of a time when something little has made a big difference in the quality of your marriage? We’ll be across the way from each other, and he’ll just look at me and wink. Just for the day to go well and for protection. If Aaron leaves early in the morning, he will pray over me and our son. However, I think the biggest thing for us would be prayer. And I absolutely love it, and adore it, and appreciate it. J: Aaron plays with my hair at night to help me relax and go to sleep. What are some of the little things that you do together, or for each other that nurture your marriage? How do you express love and appreciation for each other in little ways?
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